Are the kids ok?
This phrase has had a long-standing place in my home. Whether it’s said checking in during a date night or after they come back from being out with friends, it’s a common question I’ve asked directly and in-directly about my kids. Since the pandemic hit and we’ve been bustling and hustling, reacting to the new the now and the what’s it gonna be, I don’t know if I have asked this question as much.
There have been many moments where I know I am not alright. The same goes for my kids. We’ve struggled and triumphed through the past couple of months more times that I can count on both hands. But, that phrase hasn’t been used as much perhaps because we haven’t been outside? Our kids haven’t been with their friends like before. They haven’t really left our family bubble in some time and that may have fogged our intuition to check-in. With the new school year around the corner, all of my emotions are muddied. I’m elated to give them the opportunity to be with friends (virtual or in-person) make their brains work and spirits rise with the new. My husband and I have watched closely and our kids are resilient. They are much more adaptable than we are. But still, we have to ask the question. Are the kids ok?
So we asked the question to our 3 boys (Brody 15, Mercer 13 and Ryland 10) if there were ok, individually. Their responses ranged from frustration to sadness to envy to apathy to annoyance to calm. Across the board, all of our kids miss being with their friends the most. How do we fix that? Can we do anything about that? In our case, my middle son and I are both immune compromised and that in itself puts more pressure on our kids to be extra safe, cautious and distant from others.
Parenting is a struggle. Life is messy. The mishegas is real every day. It helps for the kids to hear that we are checking-in. We do care. We want to listen. We don’t have all the solutions YET. We are here to help, guide and support. Even though entering into a new school year is messy and unpredictable if we embrace the suck together, openly, loudly and boldly we will get through it.
Please share with me your comments and thoughts. Share pretty please.